What in the world does it mean to  be responsible? Why in the world should I care what it means to be responsible? Good question, and you know what? You’re answer might just answer some questions that I had about what type of person you are.

You see, I am an oldest child, and as such it would appear that I have this innate sense of responsibility branded into my brain. Tonight, we had a bunch of people at our house and I started watching the different people and it amazed me how incredible different and unique each person is.

I’m the person that psycho-analyses people and groups. Technically, I am just a person, and as such shouldn’t I simply be a part of the group? Sometimes, I feel that instead of being a piece of the puzzle or a component of a group, I am instead a fly on the wall. I might be in a circle, talking to people, but at the same time I am watching the people around me. Why, you ask? Because I am an oldest child and as such I feel responsible for the people around me.

Sometimes, I feel like I should just relax and not pay attention. Maybe I shouldn’t make sure that there aren’t too many kids in our pool or too many people on the trampoline but then I realized that that is a part of who I am. Sure, it’s fine to relax but at the same time it’s simple a part of who I am to feel responsible.

You see we each have responsibility. The difference is, is how we handle that responsibility to the people around us. To some extent, the way we handle responsibility and the way we perceive responsibility molds us into the people that we are and will  become.

I once read an article that put it this way: “The only child/first born tends to be an organized, researched thinker. They are subject to high expectations and, as a result, are pleasers. The parents are more anxious, but also give their first born more responsibility.”

As I read this I realized how true that is! I am the person that I am, and part of that person is being a people pleaser who feels responsible for the situations that I’m around and part of the reason I am the way that I am is because I am an oldest child. This is not to say that non-oldest children aren’t responsible but rather that they express their responsibility in other ways.

Each of one of us is unique and special. Each one of is wonderfully and fearfully made. The question that I have for each of you is; have you stopped and examined the puzzle as a whole and seen what part you play in it? Why it is that you are the way that you are? Most importantly are you allowing God to shape you into the piece of the puzzle that He would have you to be?

So, what do y’all think? Are you the puzzle piece that you want to be? Or most importantly, are you the puzzle piece that God wants you to be?

Dear God,

Thank you for loving me. I know I’m broken and I don’t deserve the grace that You extend to me, but, God, I thank you for everything. I ask you, Lord, to help me in the valleys and on the mountain tops. Help me learn to show love to the people, I’m around. Help me to care more about others than the way I’m feeling. And, God, I thank you for the bumps in the road as well as in the smooth places.

She labored hard over her speeches all year–practicing, revising, editing. Her competitive year was better than she had ever before experienced. She qualified for Regionals and successfully advanced to the National tournament. Inwardly, she was certain this was THE year. Her year. She would give it her all, do her best, and, hopefully, succeed. Nationals came. Preliminary rounds came. The banquet came. The announcements came. But her name did not come.

She dejectedly came face to face with the fact that she had not broken into the out-rounds. For two more days, she watched others compete with a disappointed heart. When she arrived home, her soul waged a fierce battle to prevent the soldiers of discouragement from winning the day. Through that struggle, there emerged a spark of inspiration, a will of determination, and a radically new focus. A focus that said,

“When all is said and done, skills are not everything. Love is what matters.”

As a result of that inner turmoil, God set a new fire in her heart–not for making speeches and competing at the top level–but rather for making a real impact on the world. A passion burned within her to free modern day slaves. Propelled by love, this dream drove her to work even harder than when her dream was spurred by her own competitive ambition.

Now get this. Within one year after Nationals, she and her friends had raised enough money to buy, free, and give a new life to seven slaves (I believe that’s the correct number). That is the astounding part.

I don’t know that girl. I’ve never met her. I don’t even know her name. But I have never forgotten the inspiring story of this girl that Mrs. Moon told at Nationals in Birmingham two years ago. Funny thing is, the girl has no clue whatsoever of the imprint she made in my life.

Nationals 2010 has come and gone. The exhilaration has left, and now even memories seem to dwindle slowly away.

But so it is every year. I attend tournaments, and I speak, learn, laugh, hug, and then leave.

When all is said and done… what’s left?

The answer to that question is very critical as it is a core influence upon how I live my life. After all, I want my greatest efforts to be spent on what will leave the greatest impact. Thus, allow me to share with you some thoughts that have been on my mind recently.

If it were possible, I think we’d all like to be National champions. Yet although the award shows you can speak outstandingly, it doesn’t mean that you–the real, inner you–stands out. You can win national titles, obtain praise, “gain the whole world”, and still lose your soul. If you speak with the most savvy finesse, but have not love, you’re like a clanging cymbal (1 Cor. 13). And, honestly, clanging cymbals can get really annoying.

This year at Nationals, I listened closely to Mr. Larimer, the league’s president, as he gave his last presidential charge. His words have stirred me to thought.

When all is said and done, how many of my accomplishments will even be remembered by myself much less others?

When all is said and done, will I have done it all for selfish gain?

When all is said and done, what will I wish I had done differently?

Of this I am certain:

When all is said and done…

Love Trumps Skill.

“I look into your eyes. I desperately want to know what you’re feeling. I ask you how you’re doing and you answer that you’re fine. You start laughing and teasing me and I wonder how long this façade of happiness can last. I want to tear down this wall that you’ve erected around yourself. I want to tell you that I love you. I want you to know that I will always be there for you. I just don’t know exactly how to tell you that.”

When reread that entry I started thinking about how many people I see every day. And, I started thinking about those people. I see them every day. I see their smiles and when I ask them how they’re doing they say they’re fine, but I wonder if they really are? How many times do we actually take the time to get to know people? How many times do take the chance of getting hurt and actually allow ourselves to love one another? How many times are we actually the sort friend that we really need to be?

There are so many hurting people in this world, and if would simply be willing to step outside of our box and be willing to love and to care we could impact this world for the God’s Kingdom in ways that we might never know. So, I challenge you. Be there for that person and actually let them know that you’re there. You might never know how much that means.

?

Time is short, and my classes are long, so I’ll try to get something posted here before I head to my next class in about 30 minutes. (Don’t worry, i’m already finished with homework)

Well first off, I’m where I’m supposed to be. I have found exactly where God wants me for at least the next few months. As far as the rest of the year, or four years, only God knows. God is good to me. I have grown more, spiritually, over the last week here at college than I have ever grown before. That ‘out on my own’ feeling was a far more frightening feeling than I could’ve anticipated. From the moment I set foot on campus, I began praying with all my might that God would provide good friends and people who would keep me responsible, accountable, and sane. God has more than come through. I have been meeting SO many amazing people over the week, it is really just overwhelming.

We have a Bible study now, filled with wonderful people who truly love God, and His Words. First day of classes is almost over, but i’ve got one more to go. I’ll post again tonight.

Later peeps!

(prayer appreciated!!)

Fairy Tale College

But before I set out I’m going to share some of the extensive knowledge I’ve gained on colleges over the last 5 years (including TWO years of college applications…ugh…yes).  These ten colleges below are my top favorites in the country (and one outside the country). I either applied or seriously considered applying at some point to all these schools. So here goes in no particular order (as Mr Larimer would say)…

Oxford (Yes, because it’s epic)

Any college at Oxford is awesome because….its at Oxford.

Looks like a fairy tale college...

Hillsdale College

My original choice… I missed going there last year by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin (which I’m glad for, because UD is just as or more awesome and is in Texas). It’s not religiously affiliated but is generally conservative Christian. Most debaters probably know someone or several someones going here.

Grove City College

This is probably the hardest school in this blogpost, but also one of my favorites. It’s Christian, socially conservative (but not legalistically so like Bob Jones), politically conservative, and on par with the best schools in the US. (Also along with Hillsdale and PHC it is he only school to reject government money). GC  has an awesome price advantage being one of the cheapest private schools, by far, and having a financial aid program at least as good as the government’s if not better.

Hampton Sydney

Hampton Sydney has both a huge negative and a huge positive aspect. The Negative: It’s an all men’s college. The Positive: They ship in hundreds of girls from neighboring colleges for social events. HS is also ranked the 2nd most Politically-Conservative school in the US by Princeton Review. Also, while being an all men’s college, it is also ranked the top anti-gay school in the US by Princeton.

Patrick Henry College

PHC is amazing if you’re an NCFCAer. You can just hop straight from your little NCFCA world right into NCFCA college, while at the same time getting a decent college education… The only problem is when you get out you realize that the world is slightly larger than the debate room.

Hanover College

I love it for its super Medieval Studies program…yep! Also it one of the more socially conservative colleges in the US (though not necessarily religious conservative…its Presbyterian I think).

Baylor

The Profs are becoming more liberal, but apparently the student body is still pretty conservative. Its a good school by all accounts and has an awesome history course selection (which is why I considered applying ).

College of the Ozarks

Nothing is free….Except College of the Ozarks. Well…sorta. You don’t pay anything, but they put you to work. Besides being $less, CO is pretty good academically and a top ranked conservative school.

Texas A&M University

In football I’ve always been a Longhorn, but A&M is a much more awesome school than UT (sorry Brian). Every Aggie knows why: it’s full of tradition, it’s very conservative, and it gives you a lifelong network of support and solidarity. It also has the distinction of being the only state school I even considered going to….because state schools are generally the worst in every aspect….often even cost (ask me sometime).

University of Dallas

Soon to be my home! For four years… But it’s my favorite college on the list, which is not just because I’m going (it was when I was going to Hillsdale too), even over Oxford (because its raving liberal despite its awesomeness).  UD is on so many Princeton (and other) rankings I’m not gonna even try listing them. It’s a fairly conservative Catholic school (75% are Catholic), one of the most challenging colleges in Texas (probably the most after Rice and maaaayyyybe Baylor), a ton of really great top-notch professors, and a really awesome school all around. Plus all sophmores get to spend a semester at UD’s Rome campus and travel Europe (covered by all scholarships and financial aid unlike most travel abroad programs)!

My home for the next four years...

The night before, I had spotted Pat as I rounded the doorway of the church to set up for the rehearsal dinner. I bolted straight at him and hugged him close. Then I leaned back and whispered, “Can you believe it? My big brother is getting married! You’re going to be a husband tomorrow!” He smiled happily, “I sure am.”

Nearly 3 months later, the wedding has now come and gone. But the marriage continues. It honestly seems so natural for Michelle to be Pat’s wife. They just click so well with each other. I never ask myself anymore, “Is this real?” because the answer is self-evident. I mean, how could it be any other way?

The ceremony was fabulous. The details were perfect. The memories are bliss. Below are the promised (and long-overdue) pictures that endeavored to capture a slice of the beauty and love permeating the day.

As well as traditional vows, they both read their own personal vows to each other. So precious!

Probably the sweetest part of the ceremony was when all four parents came up and prayed for the couple. After all, what’s a better way to start a marriage?

Best Man Paul was up to his old tricks. Later, we found out the big plastic ring was actually Pat’s idea, but he worked through Paul.

As a hilarious joke, the groomsmen surprised everyone after the first kiss by pulling out score cards hidden in their suits. I found out that the Master Schemer behind this prank was indeed the Best Man (what are brothers for, right?). Apparently Jimmy (second from right) didn’t think their kiss was so spectacular.

I don’t know what Jimmy meant by the 2.1. I think they’re pretty good at it. This one’s at least a 9.5. *sigh*

You absolutely cannot convince me that Michelle’s not a gorgeous addition to the Hastings. I’m sorry, but that’s impossible. Aren’t they such a happy, good-lookin’ couple?

Pat’s first test of love and devotion: smell Michelle’s shoe.

The shoe game is the best wedding game I’ve ever seen hands down. Or should I say, Shoes Up!

This guy had so much fun being Best Man…

OK, I feel like such a blonde (no offense to all of you blondes–y’all spice up the world ). As we were lining up to see Pat and Michelle off, I inspected the window of their getaway car pictured below. One of Pat’s ushers, a friend from Rice University, remarked, “Don’t you like what we wrote on the window? I think it’s quite funny.” I studied the words one more time, but didn’t get it because in my mind I was reading,

“What’s in a honeymoon sandwhich?
Lettuce Abne.”

I just thought to myself, ” ‘Abne’ must be one of those high-end, intelligent words learned at Rice”, and not wanting to be impolite or look dumb, I just smiled and said, “Ya.”  Only now, when I was going through pictures for this post, did I realize what he actually wrote. Yep, I see my blonde roots coming in…

Thus ended the happiest day of my life… to date.

(Important Note: Any similarity or connection between this post and the discussion going on JibeNow is wholly coincidental since I planned to write this weeks before that started. Also Lewis is talking about the the supposed threat of “escapism” that is assumed to come with fantasy, not Nathan’s problems with Narnia which are much more reasonable).

So, realistic fiction is much more beneficial and less likely to fill is with escapist lies, right? Wrong, here’s why….

“Those who wish to be deceived always demand in what they read at least a superficial or apparent realism of content…But without some degree of realism in content…no deception will occur at all. No one can deceive you unless he makes you think he is telling the truth. The unblushingly romantic has far less power to deceive than the apparently realistic. Admitted fantasy is precisely the kind of literature which never deceives at all. Children are not deceived by fairy-tales; they are often and gravely deceived by school-stories. Adults are not deceived by science fiction; they can be deceived by the stories in women’s magazines…The real danger lurks in sober-face novels where all appears to be very probable but all is in fact contrived to put across some social or ethical or religious or anti-religious ‘comment on life.’”

Escapism isn’t a problem….period. Realist stories are more often lies at heart than tales of princesses and dragons. “Escapist” stories are the least likely form of story to deceive you.

So… haters be gone!!!

Funness

Jonathan trying to commit suicide...I guess I go to jail cause I "assisted" him by holding the tubes together

We had a ton of fun.

Thank you Lills!